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Friendship is the hardest thing in the world to explain.
Friday, January 28, 2011
I need to seek for help.
I think.
I'm depressed these few weeks.
This week was really really terrible. It was worse than last week.
I couldn't believe what had happened.
I feel like i'm such a loser.
I suck.
I don't know how to help myself.
After staring at myself in the mirror, i still don't not why did things turned out this way.
I took things granted.
I did not treasure what i had.
I was too naive.
It's finally gone.
Gone.
I've lost a lot of things recently.
I'm such a failure.
Firstly, i shan't mention what it is.
Secondly, i lost my freaking retainers that costs $1000. Fml.
Thirdly, i've lost my closest friend.
Everything was so unexpected.
What's with the sudden bad luck? Will everything be fine after cny?
I hope it will be.
Talking about my retainers, i think my grandfather accidentally threw it away.
I wrapped it with a tissue paper and left it on the dining table. Thus, i think my grandpa threw it away ):
I only have myself to blame. My mom was really upset that i lost it. $1000, not $100, not $10.
In the end, i have to get a new set. Fortunately, the orthodontist gave discount so it's $800 plus but still. Heartache :( And i've changed it to blue! And i'm loving it! :D
Secondly, Ainsley and i ain't on talking terms currently.
I asked if i started it or she started it. Some said she started it, but i think both of us were at fault.
Perhaps she didn't care about my feelings and i was to petty.
But everything she told me previously were all lies. Best friends, #1 friends, Ass & Pigu, friends forever.. All these were just lies.
My interpretation last time was right. And now, it has happened to me.
After telling her so many secrets of mine, this is what i get at the end of the day.
It ain't easy to get over this matter after we were such close/good friends for quite some time.
It's a pity to just let this friendship go. But i won't take the first move.
I know i should. Either one of us should. But i have a reason behind it.
And now, the 8 & 9th february thing has been disrupted. I don't know what to do with it already.
What a waste..Sigh.
On wed, i cried really hardly. I'm undergoing too much stress. I'm going through a lot.
When i found out the 'truth'/saw her true colours, i felt even worse than that thing.
Enough.
Anyway, today i had sogurt twice in a row :D
But my freaking sogurt was $8 on monday! ):
Then tue didnt have dance so when nex with my beloved dancers and we had fun!! :)
Then thurs the juniors came. The orientation did not turn out like how we had planned.
But at least, we got to know some juniors. :)
Aiya, don't feel like blogging anymore.
I'm gonna hide under my blankey and start thinking of all the unhappy stuff.
Crazy me. La korn

Goodbye.
Clarise Iris Jasmine Jagerynn Dance